Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about self-acceptance. Not in the romanticized way, where I just scratch the surface of the question, but in a deeper way.
In a way that requires a real change, and more important than that, that requires a true responsibility about what happens in my life.
It was always easy for me to blame others for all the situations that I’ve been through. I thought it was a healthy way to deal with things, but soon I figured out I was just procrastinating the true solution to my problems.
The more I blamed others, the worse I felt about myself.
I’ve been thinking about all the anger, hurt and resentment that I feed because people treated me in a certain way when I was the one that created everything.
The way others treated me was different from the way I treated myself? Or was just a reflection of the way I behaved towards me?
How many times I looked in the mirror and hated the image that I saw? How much time did I spend judging and criticizing the way I presented myself to the world?
That is the same treatment I got from the ones that surrounded me.
The ones that were caring, that valued me, were the ones I mistreated and end up keeping away from me. They didn´t support the poor image that I had of myself, and I needed someone that treated me the same way I did.
Today things are different because I´m different. I know that the only thing between me and the Ângela that truly accepts herself is me.
I’m the one that chooses to bring the judgment instead of letting love, acceptance, and gratitude to flow every moment of my life.
P.s. This is my first english post. Yay!